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A Spiritual Response to the Virginia Tragedy
By Rabbi Irwin Kula

Randomness, unpredictability, and eruptions of violence are part of the human experience, and the senselessness of this reality moves us to ask: Why do such things happen? Why do innocent people get cut down so mercilessly? What causes a person to act so savagely? In trying to understand, we analyze and dissect, offering prescriptions (stricter gun control, less gun control, improved campus security, better monitoring of students’ mental health, tightened immigration, etc.) all to gain back “control” to insure that such tragedies never happen again.

To cope, there are three spiritual truths that should underlie our actions in the immediacy of this tragedy: We are never as powerful or secure as our fantasies, and never as powerless or insecure as our nightmares; healing requires that we move from the question of why this happened to what can we do now to help people more directly affected and vulnerable than ourselves; our individual lives are precious, unique, irreplaceable and fragile, and we are all interdependent and responsible for each other.

The spiritual imperative at a moment of tragedy is for those “least affected” to care for, listen to, and support those on the inner circle who have been most hurt. This circle includes people who lost loved ones or had a loved one injured, victims, survivors, eye-witnesses or other close relationships. To comfort those in greater pain than ourselves compels us to connect to other human beings precisely when we might turn inward and creates a currency of healing and empowerment that runs through the society. Now is not the time for blaming, finger pointing, or politicizing events (e.g. debating gun-laws)  there will be plenty of time for that later. Now the mandate is to support the people at the center of the nightmare. This is the way we recover control over the only things we genuinely can  our own capacity for empathy, kindness and compassion.

Those of us at a distance from the tragedy tend to exaggerate the danger to ourselves. The media saturation makes us feel as if it is continuously happening, but we have a responsibility to maintain perspective. The shooting was a rare occurrence, and in fact, campuses are probably amongst the safest places in the country. What is destabilizing is the randomness and unpredictability of the event, and the only spiritual way to deal with the unpredictability is to love and care for those around us more deeply. People in the inner circle of this massacre don’t need explanations of why – none will work right now anyway. They need presence, love and support to mourn and grieve.

To cope and heal, those most affected need to stay connected to family and friends to feel more safe and secure. They need to talk about their feelings and tell stories to reduce stress and create a sense of order. And they need to be able ask for what they need.
In supporting others, the spiritual rule is that we become what we do  in comforting others we are comforted ourselves. Through caring we regain control, and demonstrate that goodness can vanquish. Despite these eruptions of violence and chaos, we have the power to impose meaning.

Healing is a zigzag process that occurs one small step at a time. Even getting out of bed is a step. Parents need to help their children feel safe and secure. Children feel safe when they follow their predictable routines. This is the power of ritual. Encourage children to share their worries through words or play. Reassure them how rare this is and do not be afraid to say that you don’t know why some things happen. Give kids something to do that provides them the opportunity to be in control and to help others, such as making cards or drawing pictures for those who were directly affected.

The larger cultural issue of these tragedies leaves two options. We live in a highly open, pluralist, free society, which can leave us feeling vulnerable, fragile, and uncertain. Whatever we wind up doing to improve security we will need to learn how to live with life’s unpredictability  that is part of the human condition. Alternatively we can live in a closed society, with metal detectors, suspicion of our neighbors, strong borders, ID cards, diminished privacy, and police on every corner. We will probably marginally reduce the violent eruptions, but deep down we all know that these kinds of explosions are part of the human experience. Chaos and insecurity can never fully be banned from our reality.

As human beings we yearn to feel 100% safe and secure, yet we are conscious that we live in the unredeemed space between the perfect security we desire and the security we get. Coming to terms with this insecurity while doing what we reasonably can to protect ourselves is a sign of maturity and wisdom. Combining that wisdom with ever increasing kindness and love for those around us, along with greater attention, sensitivity and care to those nearby whose pain, mental disturbance and even evil inclinations are ticking bombs, is to live a spiritual life.

This tragedy is a terrible wound from which some of our fellow citizens will never fully recover. It is a scar on the American soul. To honor the memories of those 32 innocent sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, students and teachers, fellow citizens who died on the seemingly safe space of higher learning, we all need to redouble our efforts to choose a life of wisdom and compassion.


   



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