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Jewish Public Forum Seminar: “What Is Religion For?”
November 19, 2001 

Pre-Seminar Response to the Question:

“What Is Religion For?”

By Michael Paley

My daughter witnessed the World Trade Center collapse and her life was forever altered. This week, my daughter, Naamah, was a witness of a different sort. Standing before 4,000 at the opening plenary of the General Assembly, Naamah provided testimony to the spiritual strength of a new generation of Jewish youth. With both humility and pride, she concluded her talk with these words: “Witnessing this event brought me to understand my task. I am here to help us heal and hope again.”  

The following is a partial text. 

“And the angels urged Lot on saying: Up, take your wife and your two remaining daughters lest you be swept away." (Genesis 19:15) 

Naamah: On September 11^th, I was sitting in my film class at Stuyvesant High School in Lower Manhattan, four blocks north of the World Trade Center, when the first plane hit. Within minutes, we were glued to the first floor windows witnessing thousands of businessmen, covered in white ash, running up the West Side Highway.  

"And while he lingered, the men lay hold upon his hand, and upon the hand of his wife, and upon the hand of his two daughters - as mercy was upon them - and brought them out and left them outside the city." (Genesis 19:16) 

Naamah: As the second plane hit, I went up to the sixth floor for English class, only to be staggered by the sight of the thick black smoke and the burning holes of Tower One. In an image that will never leave my memory, I saw the 110 floor building collapsing to the ground.  

"And it came to pass, when they had brought them outside, that he said: Escape with your life. Do not look behind you and don't stay in the plain." (Genesis 19:17) 

Naamah: The voice of our principal boomed out of the loudspeaker. It barked at us: "Evacuate! Head north!"  That was all we heard. I joined thousands of my classmates and teachers in rushing down the stairs and out the building. As we emerged, clutching each other, we saw policemen everywhere. "Run for your life," one yelled at me. "Run faster."  

"But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt." (Genesis 19:26) 

“Vatabet ishto meacharav, vtehee ntsiv melach.”  

Naamah: Out on the street I looked around and saw the column of smoke rising from the ground, a place where there once had been commerce, people and life. Now there was only tangled metal, a menacing cloud of dust, and the acrid smell of death. I turned around and was riveted by the sight behind me. During my walk away from the site, I continually turned back, sometimes to see, sometimes simply in disbelief, and sometimes with the knowledge that my life was being altered. 

In the past few weeks I have often thought about Lot's wife, turning back to see the city destroyed. However, it is an inexact parallel. Sodom was a wicked city, destroyed by God, whereas the World Trade Center was innocent, destroyed by an evil about which it was ignorant. But my turning, in fact my whole story, feels like the escape from Sodom.     

I am sixteen years old, and this was to be my junior year in high school. It was only the second day of school and my hopes were high. In the story of Sodom, the word for "tarrying" is “vayeetmahemah,” and it has a special musical note above it so that when chanted the word lasts even longer. When I tried to understand my looking back, I realized that part of the reason was wanting to stay in the past for just one more moment. To imagine that this hadn't happened! That it was all a bad dream and I could resume my innocence. But while tugging on my friend’s arm, I realized that we had no time for such thoughts. The danger was here, and we had to “run for our lives.” 

The key word for me is “vatabe't,” "and she looked intently." It is not simply looking, but something more. As is now clear to me, it is impossible to look at such a scene in a passive way. Last week when we studied the parsha, I began to ask myself again, “was it better to look or not to look?”  

Michael: The word “mabeet,” “to look intently,” is rarely found in the Torah. It is used only five times, each at a pivotal moment. The first time is in Chapter 15 when God tells Abraham to go outside and look intently at the heaven in order to “count the stars and know that you will be as many." (Genesis 15:5) This is the scene of Abraham's first covenant with God.     

On September 11^th, eyes riveted to the television, I was frantic with worry about Naamah. Where was she? Was she okay? Three interminable hours later, we finally heard from her. When she finally arrived home, my tremendous relief was also accompanied by gratitude towards all who may have played a role in her safe journey back to us. 

New York is a chaotic city, filled with noise, sensation, and overload. It is simply impossible to take everything in. To our discredit, it is often the individuals who provide daily essential services which we block out. We walk by the fire and police stations on our blocks for years and barely notice they exist. And then, suddenly, through an act of gratuitous terror, our eyes are opened. Individual faces emerge as we look anew at our local firefighters and police officers, recognizing them as courageous, compassionate, and committed. 

Our city stands in contrast to Sodom, which, according to the Midrash, was known as a place that forbid one person from helping another. It was even forbidden to host a guest.  New York City, however, has become a place packed with random acts of kindness. In the first few days the subways were scary. Who were these other people sharing my ride? Might one of them want to cause harm? But then, in a new way, I began to notice that their faces were not so threatening. Instead, they reflected shared concern. In the last few weeks, there has been a new sense of community that is emerging. We can all be in this together. On September 11^th, our city proved herself and the countless acts of generosity witnessed all around us were unparalleled. We are a wounded city, struggling to see new heroes, to know the stories of those who were lost, and to look intently at a different future.  

The next time the word “mabeet”, “to look intently,” is used is at the burning bush. "Vayaster Moshe panav, ki yareh maihabeet el Hashem." (Exodus 3:6) “And Moses hid his face for he was afraid to look at God.” This is the turning point in Moshe's life, he is in the moment between his past and his future. The cry of the people has been heard, now he must fulfill his responsibility for their liberation. He will never be the same. He can barely look.

As a Federation rabbi, it is my job to look. These have been intense times. I have sat with bereaved families, listened to the concerns of children, spoken at massive memorial services, and tried to find some wisdom. One thing stands out from amidst the tears. There has been a general lack of bitterness. Even though we hear stories of occasional internecine violence, they are remarkable because they are rare. We have been well led. It could have been different. We could have turned on each other or pointed fingers. But this hasn't happened. Instead, we opened our eyes, looked intently, and, to our amazement, we were able to see the blossoming of all that is best in the other. 

When Moses stands at the burning bush he has a choice. If he looks intently he will see the face of God in a way in which no other human being had ever been privy. It would have been a glorious sight. But then he would be different. Unique. And he would not have been able to look back at us, at humanity, in the same way again. He hides his face and chooses us.  

Naamah: When Lot's wife looked back she turned into a pillar of salt. Why? She had been warned not to turn around because seeing the devastation drained the life out of her. All that was left of her vitality was the salt. She was not strong enough to withstand such looking.  

Last summer I spent two months in Israel, mostly with the B’nai Brith Youth Organization International Leadership Seminar. It gathered kids from America, Russia, Bulgaria, and Israel. In deciding to go I was faced with a difficult question. Was it more dangerous to go or not to go? In going I would be risking a bit of safety, but in not going I would be compromising who I am. I believe that real security comes from the unity of the Jewish people. Ignoring that was the greater risk. We all know it was a difficult summer, but in the face of that difficulty I was filled with hope. I stood together with other Jewish teenagers, and together we felt strong, and even optimistic. The Israelis in the program were able to look past the terrorism and look forward to their lives.  

As I walked away from the smoke I reached 23rd Street and came to a crossing where I could no longer walk in my path. I turned to an angle where my view was obstructed, and I could no longer look intently. Without the scene in front of me, I immediately imagined the way it had been and yearned to restore it. My Israel eyes had helped me sustain my dream, and even strengthened me enough to reach out and help others. “Looking back” opened my eyes to what I have to do, and to what all of us have to do. Witnessing this event brought me to understand my task. I am here to help us heal and hope again. Now is my time to embark on my journey.  

Michael: I have spent a great deal of time with the people who work for and are helped by our agencies in New York. From the very first moment when the menacing cloud still hung in the sky, the agencies opened their doors to help anyone who came, anyone in need. When Abraham “intently looks into the heavens,” he is granted an image of redemption. Each of the stars is their own unique shape and brightness, but when he looks up he sees them all together. I have seen our agencies and our leadership do their work in a new way, in a way that unites and believes in the very principles that make us who we are. At another moment of death, the death of Abraham, Isaac and Ishmael stood together before setting out on their separate paths to redeem the world. This is still an uncertain proposition. But this great moment of loss that has shocked us so much, may have also opened our eyes and allowed us to look intently at the future.

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